The Weary Servant

I’m sitting here in the middle of the night with a full brain and a heart aching for answers. I should be sleeping. At 8 months pregnant I’m tired all the time, and a good night’s rest seems to be getting more and more rare these days. Yet here I am, working myself through feelings of exhaustion, confusion and disappointment. Earlier in the day I fought feelings of anger and frustration; I mean I am a redhead. I always say that when God made me he put a fire in my hair and in my heart, and I think that’s a pretty accurate description if you get to know me, but I don’t hold on to anger for too long. There is no reason to, because it does no good to hold on to it. I feel it, then I let it go and give it to God. No, the emotions I have now has nothing to do with anger, but are replaced with weariness. I feel weary.

Daniel and I have many important values in our family. In the beginning of our marriage we discussed what we thought was important to us. These important values include respect, love, compassion, diligence, perseverance, and a heart to serve. This is what we want to instill in our family to encourage it to grow. Today my focus is on a heart to serve.

Serve God and serve others. We love God and we want to honor him through our actions. We love people and we want to see them love God and become closer to Him, so we serve. How do we serve? As a mom I serve through my everyday actions. Every dish I wash, shirt I fold, lesson I teach, and boo boo I kiss, I give to God. I want to be transformed from a house wife and mother to a servant of God. I want to do it with the best of my ability, and do it for the God I love. Secondly, we serve inside our church because they are our family. We want to combine our talents and strengths with others, and worship our mighty and wonderful God together. Third, we serve through foster care. This was a ministry we felt led to after our eyes were finally opened to a community consumed in pain and addiction. We serve through this ministry by showing God’s love and grace to the children and families who enter our life.

Jesus was a servant. I love in John 13 when Jesus served his disciples. That was right before Judas betrayed him, leading to Jesus’s death. Though I’m sure Jesus had a lot of feelings in that moment, he decided to serve his father by serving his disciples. He did this by washing their feet. You heard right... feet. I’ll admit that I’m a little grossed out by feet. These weren't perfectly pedicured feet. No, these were sandal wearing, dirty, hairy, man feet that shared streets with livestock poop. Our Jesus in all of his amazingness washed each foot, even Judas’s feet when he knew of the betrayal that was coming. He could have said “I have a lot on my plate right now and I just don’t feel like serving today” or “ Okay, I’ll wash everyone’s feet except for Judas’s feet because he’s a turd and he’s going to be mean to me.” As entertaining as that thought is, he did something wonderful.  John 13: 12-15 says:

12 When he had washed their feet and put on his outer garments and resumed his place, he said to them, “Do you understand what I have done to you? 13 You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am. 14 If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet. 15 For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you.

He used that moment to show how important it is to be a servant. Serving God and others is important, but is it easy? Sometimes maybe, but all the time?

I love to serve, but lately it has been hard for me. I’m exhausted in many ways and just not feeling my best. Though I’ve had to slow down some due to the baby, I don’t want to stop serving my God completely. Recently, I feel like I’m not doing this right. A family I tried to help and support didn’t even show up, and at the moment I felt like I had no support when I thought I should, and my child wasn’t appreciating any of my hard work, so that makes serving as a mom hard. This didn’t make me want to serve more. I wanted to stop. Then I read 1 Corinthians 15:58

58 Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.

I needed to hear this verse. It’s not about me, and when others don’t see or accept my hard work and kindness, and even when I’m serving completely alone, my God knows my heart. He knows I love him, and as long as I’m working hard for him the labor is not in vain. So if you feel weary in your work, life, school, calling, or whatever you do, I hope you find this encouraging to you. Remember to be steadfast, immovable, always abounding. Stand tall, show up, and give it all you have. If you are doing it for God, then it’s not in vain.