It takes a village

When we started our foster journey I remember having fear for the uncertainty. We knew without a doubt that this was how God was leading us to love our community, but ‘knowing’ and ‘doing’ are very different. Almost a year and a half year later and we love our life. God gave us purpose and filled our home with more love than I could have ever imagined. I’m not going to pretend that we never have bad days - some days are very difficult - but I’m extremely thankful for the people in our lives who show us support. I understand that not everyone can foster, though if you feel that is where God is leading you then please don’t fight it. We fought it, and made excuses, but despite our stubbornness God still used us.. There are 6,000 children in foster care in West Virginia. I don’t expect anyone to fix this problem overnight, but there are ways we can come together to love and care for these children. We couldn’t do what we do without our support system. Here are ways you can help foster families.

Prayers

Praying is the best thing you can do for a foster family. Pray for our kids. Pray for us. Pray for our children’s biological family. Pray for the judge, lawyers, cps workers, and caseworkers. I can’t control what happens in my kids lives, but when I pray and others pray I feel comforted. God loves us and takes care of us. I know that however challenging life is, God knows the outcome. Our lives are in his hands, which is the best place for it to be.

Meals

Every time a new child comes to us it’s like bringing home a new baby. It’s exciting but chaotic. We have to learn how to communicate with this child who doesn’t know us or trust us, but with time they learn that our home is safe and that we’re trustworthy. When someone brings us dinner, then a weight is lifted from me and I can focus completely on the child’s needs. This can be as simple as picking up a $5 pizza.

Donate and supply

I’m not necessarily talking about money, but there are foster agencies that could put your donations to good use if that is how you want to help. What I’m talking about is toothpaste, toothbrushes, bubble bath, blankets, and books. Over the summer we had four children come and go in four weeks. Each child needed toiletries our their own. We have to have these items stocked in our home because often children come into foster care with very little or nothing at all. When children leave us, we send them off with more than they had when they came. We fill their suitcase or boxes with toys, books, clothes, or anything else we think they would like. How often do we go to the store? How easy would it be for us to spend a few extra dollars for a child? Donating to foster closets are also very helpful. Many times we’ve had children who came to us needing clothing and shoes. If you are interested in donating clothing, or you’re a foster parent who needs clothing for your kids, I can give you the contact information for a foster closet near you.

Babysit

This is so helpful! I helps me get a couple of hours to rest or clean. I’m able to recharge and be the mom my kids need me to be. When momma is happy, everybody is happy.

Mentor

I love seeing people love my kids. A child can never have too many caring people in their life. These are the people who take time to listen to our kids. They enjoy spending time with them. Our kids talk about them constantly, and want to be just like them. Whether they know it or not, they are a very important part of our family. It warms my heart to have family and friends who are great role models for our little ones.

Chores and Errands

This is something that I don’t like to ask help for, but at times I’ve needed extra help. Ways you can help in this area include cleaning their home, mowing the lawn, raking leaves, shoveling snow, grocery shopping, car maintenance, or offer to attend appointments with them to help with the kids. Another way to help is to go on-call for a foster parent. This means that you are willing to pick up specific items with little notice. For example, we had a young child come to us around bedtime, but he didn’t have any pajamas. The only clothes he had was what he was wearing. Knowing that all I have to do is make a call and this little boy’s needs would be met is a relief.

Educate and Advocate

Maybe you want to foster someday, but for whatever reason it’s just not time. That’s okay. Maybe you never want to be a foster parent, and you know it’s not for you. That’s okay too. Not everyone is called to walk this path, but with 6,000 children in foster care in West Virginia, looking the other way and saying “someone else will take care of this” is not good enough. Take classes, listen to lectures, and spend time with foster families. Ask as many questions as you can think of. Learn everything you can about the issues facing these children, then educate others. Advocate, because these kids need their voices to be heard. How often do we post to social media? How easy would it be to have a conversation with a friend? Just because you don’t choose this type of parenting doesn’t mean others won’t. Maybe they just don’t know the facts yet.

Galatians 5:13-14 says:

You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”

God calls us to serve each other. He commands us to love the people who surrounds us. We can’t express how thankful we are to the ones who serve our family. It takes a village to raise a child. If you want to be a part of our village please let me know. I know many other foster families who could use your support. Let’s come together to love these little ones!